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ABORTED
Vault of Horrors
2024, Nuclear Blast

Okay, so I think Mom was right: my face might just stick like this.

ABORTED are back with another slab of brutalization for your earholes. Rejoice! And, while you're at it, look at that cover in large format to find all the goodies. I don't think I have yet, but man, this thing absolutely reeks of perfection. It needs no prettying up, no smoothing of jagged edges, and definitely does not need MORTICIAN. Plainly put, this is my favorite album cover in the whole damn ABORTED catalogue, and that's important. Once upon a time, along with landline phones and print media, the album cover was like a rare cooked morsel, urging you to salivate at its mere presence and anticipate what was to come once you had whatever album in your hands. Pressing play was akin to mastication, your ears primed and ready to digest every. fucking. gory. detail. Get a napkin.

I just double checked the font of all human knowledge and, as it turns out, Vault of Horrors is not the shortest album in the ABORTED oeuvre - it just feels like it. The fact that the album passes before you know what happened, let alone how much punch it packs, never mind that The Face hasn't left since you pressed play and then, like a zombie, just press play again, is a testament to just how good ABORTED is at what they do. Vault of Horrors is huge - a towering, seething, undulating mass of limbs congealing into a horrifyingly pristine presence not unlike the cover. Lurking ever constantly are uncomfortable memories you can't shake, the ghost in the room you can't quite articulate and the ominous foreboding of all those VHS movies piled in the corner of the cover (and the posters, and the beautiful homage of the tapestry of a whole). Keep your feet under the covers at all material times while listening to the album. The guests are coming.

No stranger to guest appearances, for Vault of Horrors, ABORTED have enlisted some of the best to help out. Oh, and a guest is featured on each of the 10 platters of splatter on offer here and, in all honesty, none of these would die or be cut off in a movie adaptation. I'm sure it's coming. Each track is representative not only of ABORTED at their best musically but also somewhat catering to the styles of each guest vocalist. This type of >PROBOT-esque potluck of propensity for pummeling should not work (but neither should have PROBOT). Vault of Horrors stands out because of this. Every song has its own flavor and nothing about the album seems same-y or repetitive, which is a real concern not only in music generally, but slamming pseudo goregrind in particular and, no, ABORTED have never been a goregrind band. There is too much syrup mixed in for that. I know what I'm trying to say, stop making fun of me...

RIYL, well, ABORTED. Are there standout tracks here? Absolutely. Lead single "Deathbringer" is gonna be a live staple but the wound gets absolutely gnarly by the time "Death Cult" kicks your teeth in. Vault of Horrors is the album you show your friends and the one to make sure the house guests leave by 9. Open your door, open your stomach, and open your heart to one of the best metal albums of the year. Press play again. Again. Again.

4.5 Out Of 5.0