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Pantera Publicist Bitch-Slaps the E! Channel By Newsferatu, Writer Monday, August 21, 2006 @ 12:31 AM
Below is an e-mail Janie sent in response to a licensing request from the E! Channel to re-enact the murder of Dimebag Darrell.
Dimeıs birthday is this coming Sunday and your timing couldnıt be worse. Not
that there is a good time. In fact, in honor of his birthday, I think Iıll
send this around to a few of our favorite music websites who will most
likely print the whole damn thing word for word, including your phone number
and email. For good measure, Iım going to throw in the top 50 major daily
music and some of the top TV writers in the country and why not, the
weeklies as well.
I realize there is nothing anyone can do to stop E! from producing garbage
like this below, as youıve built your audience on the backs of other
peopleıs private lives, creating some type of warped reality out of your
garbage, which is merely excuses for programming on the cheap and at the
expense of others.
I would like to request that you please read this out out loud to all the
creative geniuses in the programming department that came up with this idea.
...
We have received your request to license footage on Dimebag Darrell Abbott
for your upcoming production of, "25 Most Chilling Hollywood Murders."
While we realize the average E! audience most likely has the IQ of an
umbrella, they collectively are a smarter bunch than the lot of you. Your
programming creativity falls somewhere to the bottom of the middle at best,
and thatıs saying a lot.
I ask that you all please take a moment from your busy days and close your
eyes. Live out the fantasy of playing your favorite instrument onstage.
Your closest friends in the world surround you, either in the band or in
your crew. From one side of the stage, a man approaches. Thinking heıs a
security guy or a drunk fan whoıs just a bit out a line, you continue to
perform. Two seconds later, he lifts his arms, aims a rifle at your brother,
your best friend, your buddy and blows his brains out, not three feet from
where you are. In the nanosecond it takes you to comprehend the magnitude of
what just happened, he does it again ...and again ...and again ...and again
...and again ...and again before taking aim and murdering additional members
of your extended family as well as fans that have come to see you play. Two
of your crew are shot but survive, but of course, will never be the same
gain.
Now imagine itıs a few years later and you turn on the TV set. Just in case
you may be having at least a five minute respite from that scene that plays
over and over in your head, just in case .....you flip through the channels
and there it is. Again. Only with some two bit actor who thinks this is his
big Hollywood break.
And please, if you donıt like that scenario, make believe itıs your child
who got his brains splattered all over a stage in Ohio. And then you turn on
E! Oh, the magic of television!
In case none of this appears clear enough and you need a definitive answer
to your request...no. The answer if no, and on behalf of everyone that was
there that night and everyone that misses him every day, you can take that
no and shove it up your collective asses.
And, for your second request, yes, you can quote me on that.
Sincerely,
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